How I wish I could be sitting at a table over coffee sharing what the Lord has done in our lives over the last months, but alas many who will read the following are spread across the country. I thought many times of sharing, but I was afraid that it would come across wrong, I struggle to write the words I mean. So, before I get started, I want you all to know, I'm not writing this hoping to gain sympathy or to have "woe is me" attitude, but hoping that it may encourage others that may walk our path.
I guess I'll dive in with the facts and then at the end share how God has been working.
In January we struggled through rough times of trusting God with Audrey, when she had the seizure, I was reminded that she was not my child, but that we had given her to the Lord to do as He would, each day we have with her is a blessing from the Lord.
In February the Lord taught us patience as HE sold our house and then stretched our faith as to where He would have us to move. We spent much time in prayer and the Lord slowly guided our paths.
In March we finally found the house the Lord had for us and began the slow process of purchasing it. Despite it being a "buyers market" we had a much harder time buying our new home than we had selling our old home (details are too long for me to tell on that).
Also, in March I began to have some weird health problems come about that finally led to us finding out I was pregnant on March 27, through blood tests(even thought home test were negative). March 28 we moved out of our house, but hadn't closed on the new house, we stayed with friends in the church. On Sunday, March 30, I started to miscarry, we found out for sure on Tuesday, the day we moved into our new house for the sure the results of blood tests.
The things I learned/ became more thankful for during this time.
1. That God had already given us one child, and if that was all God would chose to give us, I would be content.
2. God's timing is best, for some reason, the Lord chose to allow this to all happen in a "busy" time. He also decided it wasn't His timing for us to have another child.
3. Working through all that happened took time, and I'm thankful for prayers of others and for God's grace, even at time when I didn't realize it at the time.
4. I can't say that I was completely devastated by all that happened. I guess maybe only knowing I was pregnant for three days, and since I was not very far along, helped a great deal.
5. I came to sympathize with those who have lost a child, although each situation is vastly different, I got a very small idea of the loss they go through.
6. I am thankful for the lessons, even though I would have never chosen to walk this path!
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